Everything I know I learned from Talk Radio(tm)

July 1997 

Who are these people? and Did they really say that?


Playing God (for a sucker)
The return of Wilbert
Now we know why Limbaugh's so full of shit


Check your handguns and hotdogs at the door
JULY 4: "Hot Talk" radio station KVI's 4th of July picnic, heavily publicized for weeks and featuring the attendance of a number of Republican lawmakers, takes place.  However, many of the arriving right-wing picnic-goers are chagrined to discover that they aren't allowed to bring either concealed weapons or their own food into the "picnic".  They consider this a severe infringement on their rights and call in to complain vociferously in the week following the picnic.


Paul Joseph Goebbels is long gone, but Leni Riefenstahl might be available
JULY 7: The Washington Times newspaper reports that Republican Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich wants a "Frank Capra" to film the GOP's message and get it across to the voters.


Playing God (for a sucker)
JULY 8: Republican talk radio host Kirby Wilbur declares that the 2nd Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which specifies the "right to keep and bear arms", is "a right given by God".
Since humankind (and presumably God) existed for thousands of years before guns were invented, this "God-given" right must have existed, latent and unsuspected, all those thousands of years before the first person settled a disagreement with his neighbor by shooting him.
What other hidden, God-given rights are lying out there waiting to be made relevant by advancing human technology?  Perhaps, now that the cloning of humans is nearly at hand, we'll discover that every individual has a "God-given" right to create a clone of themselves to harvest for spare organs.


Wilbur's show is sponsored by Toyota


The return of Wilbert
JULY 8: Republican talk radio host Kirby Wilbur tries to invoke Schumpeter's economic theory of capitalism's "creative destruction", but mangles it, saying that if one doesn't change with the times and adust to the marketplace, then "you'll be creatively destroyed."
Wilbur's show is sponsored by the Sword Microsurgical Hair Restoration Clinic, who advertise "There's no reason to be bald anymore."


Doubting Wilbur
JULY 10: Republican talk radio host Kirby Wilbur says of a stage production of Jesus of Nazareth: "you've got to see it to believe it."


Wilbur's show is sponsored by Christian Supply.


You'll have to speak up, I've got a Senator biting my ear
JULY 14: "Independent", i.e. not Republican, talk radio host Mike Reagan is unhappy that Senator Thompson's Senate hearings on Democratic campaign finance hijinks are not being shown live on network TV. In order to get TV coverage, Reagan suggests that Senator Thompson "bite the ears off" of Democratic Senator John Glenn.


Reagan's show is sponsored by Rolaids.


All the news that fits on the right-wing side
JULY 16: Limbaugh tells his listeners to get their news about the Thompson hearings from the Fox News Channel.  This happens to be the TV news channel run by Roger Ailes, the executive producer of Limbaugh's TV show, and Republican media consultant for the Nixon, Reagan, and Bush presidential campaigns.  Fox TV, of course, happens to be owned by right-wing billionaire Rupert Murdoch, who voted for Pat Robertson for president.


Limbaugh's show is sponsored by the Fox News Channel


Now we know why he's so full of shit
JULY 17: Limbaugh is amazed at the popularity of the children's book Everybody Poops, saying "how did it affect me that I didn't read this book [as a child] and learn that every living thing has to eliminate waste?"


Limbaugh's show is sponsored by Hot Springs portable spa.


Yet Another Vast, Left-wing Plot
JULY 29: "Independent", i.e., not Republican,  talk radio host Michael Reagan says that the 1995 U.S. government shutdown was "a plot, something that the Republicans were swept into" so that Clinton could blame them for it.


Reagan's show is sponsored by Wade Cook's "Stock Market Miracles" book series.


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