Everything I know I learned from Talk Radio(tm)

April 1997 

Who are these people? and Did they really say that?


The Abominable Homophobe
Bill Gates, meet Horatio Alger
And it's so cold in the Arctic from the air conditioners used by the Eskimos
Reagan becomes "Independent"
APRIL 9: Republican talk radio host Mike Reagan informs us that he is no longer a Republican, that he has re-registered as an "Independent".  He was driven to this desperate action by his outrage at Senator Fred Thompson's promise to investigate Republican campaign finance abuses as well as Democratic ones.  (He needn't have worried, Thompson never made good on that promise.)
Reagan's show is sponsored by the Strenex impotence pill: "Gives men of all ages the boost they need!" (I'm not making this up)
APRIL 9: Newly "Independent" talk radio host Mike Reagan discloses a deep, dark secret:  "The Christian Coalition provides tremendous help to the (Republican) Party."
Reagan then reveals another shocker: Grover Norquist's organization, "Americans for Tax Reform", is  "Newt's best friend on the Hill."  That might explain why the Republican National Committee gave $4.6 million to the organization before the 1996 elections.
Reagan's show is sponsored by Bulova.
Saddam Hussein felt the same way about Kuwait
APRIL 10: "Independent" talk radio host Mike Reagan berates "land for peace" proponents who are "asking Israel to give up land won fairly in a war".
Reagan's show is sponsored by  Interwest Bank
You say decision, I say destitution
APRIL 13: Radio Rabbi Dan Lapin reassures us that "no one in the US is involuntarily destitute", where destitute means "not knowing where your next meal is coming from" or not "having a place to spend the night." Basically, he says, "It's a (conscious) decision to be on the street."
Help! I've fallen in a credibility gap and I can't get out!
APRIL 13: Radio Rabbi Dan Lapin says "It's a well-known fact that all men and most women want their first child to be male."  Not only that, he says that in Manhattan and West L.A., when "professional women" become pregnant they'll abort the child if tests show it to be a girl.  The Radio Rabbi rebuts any scoffers in the audience, saying, "You can take it from me, it's true!"
The Abominable Homophobe
APRIL 15:  Republican dirty trickster and talk radio host Floyd Brown is disgusted by homosexuality, saying "It's an abomination".   When asked by a caller, "in homosexual marriages, where's the victim?", Brown replies, "the victim is the one that gets AIDS."
Brown's show is sponsored by "Strenex", a potion for men who suffer from "lack of sexual potency or want to improve their sexual performance."
The slime starts here
APRIL 16: Republican dirty trickster and talk radio host Floyd Brown is unhappy about a recent political maneuver in the Washington State legislature, calling it "the most two-faced, hypocritical, slimy move I've ever seen in politics."
Coming from someone like Brown, who is personally responsible for pouring truckloads of slime into the political process (the Gennifer Flowers 1-900 phone line, the Willie Horton ad), that's saying a lot.
Brown's show is sponsored by the reincarnated spirit of the Apostle Paul, who's in town promoting his new book "The Messengers".
Went in dumb, came out dumb, too
APRIL 17: Republican dirty trickster and talk radio host Floyd Brown says "I think Pat Robertson's school (Regent University) is a pretty good school - I know a lot of people who graduated from there".
Brown's show is sponsored by men's divorce lawyers at 1-800-DIVORCE
DUH!  - Volume II
APRIL 17: Republican dirty trickster and talk radio host Floyd Brown says "I agree with most of his [Pat Robertson's] political opinions".
Brown's show is sponsored by an organization saying, "call Congress at 1-800-321-4996 and complain about new air pollution regulations"
She's not the only one taking notes
APRIL 17: When a caller says she takes notes on the talk radio shows she listens to, Republican dirty trickster and talk radio host Floyd Brown says, "that's a scary thing if you've been taking down what I say".
Brown's show is sponsored by Wade Cook's "Stock Market Financial Clinic: Double your money every 2 1/2 to 4 months!"
Possessed? Moi?
APRIL 18:  Limbaugh says that Representative David Bonior (House Minority whip) is "obsessed" with "destroying" Newt Gingrich and that Bonior is "possessed" and needs an "exorcism".
Limbaugh asks "Have you ever seen people consumed with such hatred?"
That's a strange question coming from someone who has built his career by spewing hate and smearing the Clintons every single day since 1992 - and he calls Bonior obsessed?
Bill Gates, meet Horatio Alger
APRIL 19:   Limbaugh cites William Gates III as an example of someone overcoming a disadvantaged background to achieve success.
One wonders what Limbaugh considers so disadvantageous about William Gates III's upbringing, given that Gates was born into a wealthy and influential Seattle family, sent to the most exclusive private schools (Lakeside School, Harvard), and afforded every possible advantage.
Perhaps Limbaugh's point is that any (white male) kid can go from just plain ordinary rich to obscenely rich if he just applies himself.
Those Puritans had the right attitude
APRIL 21: Republican talk radio host Kirby Wilbur vehemently asserts that "this country wasn't founded on diversity and tolerance!"  Wilbur says the US was actually founded on Judeo-Christian principles.  Apparently he believes the two are incompatible.
Wilbur's show is sponsored by Jockey men's underwear
Just Say No to Germs, or, Take two aspirin and call the GOP in the morning
APRIL 22: National Public Radio reports that the Governor of Washington State proposed to use some of the State's budget surplus to move 20,000 people off of a 70,000 person waiting list for state-subsidized health care insurance.
However, the Republican-controlled Washington State Legislature turned down the Democratic Governor's proposal, saying,  "poor people who wait patiently will eventually get coverage."
The Washington State Republican party is sponsored by Thomas Stewart, a local millionaire fined for laundering campaign contributions, whose businesses in 1997 have been convicted and fined more than $1 million for repackaging tainted meat returned by customers and reselling it to stores in poor neighborhoods (hope those poor shoppers had health insurance!) and also investigated for selling counterfeit Taster's Choice coffee in South Korea.
And it's so cold in the Arctic from the air conditioners used by the Eskimos
APRIL 22: "Independent" talk radio host Mike Reagan explains the true cause of rain forest deforestation to his audience.  He says that the native peoples of the tropics are "cutting trees in the rain forest because they're trying to stay warm."
He doesn't specify whether it's the physical activity of cutting the trees down that warms up the natives or if they are using the trees for firewood.
Reagan's show is sponsored by Windmill vitamins
Saying thanks is hard to do
APRIL 23: Limbaugh, on his Morning Update, says that people receiving government benefits are just plain ungrateful: "not once has anyone getting these gifts, handouts, [or] benefits said thanks.  They only ask for more."
Limbaugh, of course, has thanked the State of Missouri and federal government for once providing him with unemployment benefits, hasn't he?
Limbaugh's show is sponsored by Northwest Airlines
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Copyright 1997 W.R. Ross All Rights Reserved