You Are Not Alone
It is against the law for someone to assault, threaten, or stalk you. This book will show you that there are people to help you while you think and decide how to give yourself and your children safety and hope.
No one has the right to hurt another person, even if that person is a spouse, child, parent, or partner. Yet, too many women are abused by someone they love.
- You are not alone...
"There were times when she was very sorry and said it would never happen again, and it always did. I had black eyes, disconnected shoulders, bruises all over my body – I also had bald spots on my head from all the hair yanking."
--a battered woman
Domestic Violence happens when one person in an intimate relationship believes s/he has the right to control and criticize the other person’s feelings, behavior, and actions. This violence, or ways of controlling, takes many forms -- physical, sexual, and emotional. Physical violence includes kicking, punching, shoving, slapping, or pushing in any way that hurts your body. Sexual violence includes any unwanted touching or fondling and forced or pressured sex at any time.
"The bruises from his slaps would eventually heal and go away, but I’ll never forget the awful things he said about the say I look, the way I cook, and how I take care of the kids."
--a battered woman
Even the threat of violence results in women feeling afraid and controlled. A raised fist, punching of walls, kicking in doors, keeping you awake all night, threatening to take your children away, hurting your pets, destroying your personal things, or withholding of money can cause any woman to feel fearful and threatened. If you are experiencing any of these things, and feel isolated, alone, trapped or scared, you may be living with an abusive partner.
- You are not alone...
"I was amazed at the stories of these women in my support group. The women were all different, but the stories were very much like mine. And I had thought it was all something that I was doing."
--a battered woman
Women who are suffering in bettering relationships come from every part of life. Our level of education, financial security, race or ethnic group, sexual orientation, physical or mental ability, immigration status, religion, or marital status does not protect us from experiencing domestic violence.
- You are not alone...
"He always threatened if I tried to run away or call the police, he would call Immigration and have me deported. I don’t speak very much English and he said that no one would understand or believe me anyway. I feel I would be a disgrace to my family if I went back home -- I couldn’t bear it."
--a battered woman
If you are not a U.S. citizen, your partner may try to use that against you. He may say he will get custody of your children and have you deported. There are laws that protect your rights as a parent. Other laws may protect you from deportation or may help you get legal immigration status without his help. If you are concerned about your immigration status, contact an immigration lawyer.
- You are not alone...
"The physical abuse escalated during my marriage. It got more frequent and serious over time and so did my feelings of guilt, of shame about it, of dependence on the relationship. I remember a desperate desire to just be a better person so he wouldn’t beat me."
--a battered woman
Sadly, your partner’s violence will never end without help from other people or services in the community. No matter how hard you may try to understand the abuser, you cannot control the violence. You may already know that over time the abuser’s behavior is more and more threatening or violent. We have learned through the experiences of many battered women that assaults always increase in frequency and severity during the relationship. Abuse may result in serious physical injury and even death. After each violent event, many women describe feeling alone, frustrated, disappointed, lonely, afraid, and ashamed.
Remember, You are not alone
Nobody should be beaten or abused. You can ask for help. Every woman’s situation is different. This book contains information about ways you can protect yourself and your children, and a list of resources that can help you make the first step toward safety.
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