Go read the Disclaimer again. I am not a doctor. This is not medical advice. Seriously.
A lot of books, including parts of holy books, are devoted to advocating that parents control their children. Parents are urged to use various techniques in an effort to get this control. This control is unattainable; that's why the Bible has stoning as a back-up plan for children whose parents fail to control them.
A lot of parents over the millenia have claimed to control their children, and sometimes could indeed demonstrate the ability to command their children's -- even adult children's -- actions in some detail. What some of those children did when no one was watching was another matter entirely. A large body of research supports the thesis that if you do indeed successfully replace the child's will with your own, your child will become self-destructive, destructive or both. (Try starting with Greven's book.) That can manifest in a lot of subtle ways, which is why we have so many adults wandering around saying things like, "But my parents spanked me and I turned out just fine", while being unable to draw the connection between harsh parenting and their own ongoing issues with food, intimacy, depression, violent ideation, alcohol, drugs, and so forth.
I'm assuming that parents who would like to impose their own value system on their children are not intending these other effects, and that those effects constitute, even in their mind, a failure of control. I hope I am not wrong in this assumption.
Many parenting tactics that were widely accepted in our society until recently are being slowly moved into other categories, such as, an indication that the parents are failing in some way, and, in some cases, child abuse. Corporal punishment is now illegal in Sweden (although no punishment is associated with violating that law), and even in the U.S., when corporal punishment harms or kills a baby, we are at least part of the time prepared to call it what it is: a crime.
Authority Implies the Ability, Right or Knowledge to Decide for Another
Parent and Child Imply That Relationship Gives Power
Copyright 2006 by Rebecca Allen.
Created March 9, 2006 Updated March 9, 2006