I noticed at an early age, that Catholic girls had enormously long names,
which, I supposed, was to discourage bad behavior in their dates.
Who wouldn't be intimidated into chaste behavior when
the object of your affection is named after the mother of Jesus,
along with other saints?
This song tells what happens when that principle is carried to an extreme.
The World's Longest Catholic Name
By
Michael Pryor
[Verse 1]
C G
In a quiet Sonora cantina in old Mexico
C
A cerveza was poured in the glass of Jose Calderon
G
Daily he came like a pilgrim to honor his tears
C
In a couple of Don Juan Fernandez's cold golden beers.
F
My sorrows he said are too great for a farmer
C
A young wife that died left me our baby daughter
G C
No mother to teach her of beauty and romance and shame
F
To discourage her suitors from wanting to make love
C
I named her for every saint I could think of
G G7 C
And gave my Maria the world's longest catholic name.
[Chorus]
C G
Maria Consuela Santa Fe De La Cruz Concepcion
C
Sangra de Christo, San Francisco, San Jose, Trinidad, San Pedro
F
San Pablo, San Tomas, San Mateo, y San Juan Batista,
C G C
And the two modern saints Che Guevara and Mother Theresa
[Verse 2]
C G
There arose from a cantina table a tall man unshaved
C
He was young with a quizzical look and a swaggering way
F
I have heard of this beauty by rumor from old Vera Cruz
C G C
And have come all this way to find out if the story was true
Of . . .
C G
Maria Consuela Santa Fe De La Cruz Concepcion
C
Sangra de Christo, San Francisco, San Jose, Trinidad, San Pedro
F
San Pablo, San Tomas, San Mateo, y San Juan Batista,
C G C
And the two modern saints Che Guevara and Mother Theresa
C G
Jose Calderon said I'm sorry you came to find magic
C
All it has brought are two lives that are lonely and tragic
C7
For all of her suitors from best to the least good
F Fm
While saying her name they were called to the priesthood
C G C
Under the spell of the world's longest catholic name
C G
Maria Consuela Santa Fe De La Cruz Concepcion
C
Sangra de Christo, San Francisco, San Jose, Trinidad, San Pedro
F
San Pablo, San Tomas, San Mateo, y San Juan Batista,
C G C
And the two modern saints Che Guevara and Mother Theresa
C G
To Jose Calderon the young man said "Please hear my tale."
C
Before I was born my poor father died drunk in a jail
F
My mother was angry though I was her own precious son
C G C
She named me for all of the bad things my father had done
C G
I'm Guillermo, no good, lazy bum, unfaithful betrayer
C
Snake in the grass, pain in the ass and card player
C7
Forsaker of women in their sad condition
F Fm
Worse than a lawyer or bad politician
C G C
No one loves a man with a curse instead of a name
C G
Jose Calderon said Guillermo if you dare to brave it
C
If a foul name like yours meets her sad life, perhaps you can save it
C7 F
So lips found their kisses and arms found their tender embraces
C G C
And never again did Jose drown his tears in cervezas.
For
C G
Maria Consuela Santa Fe De La Cruz Concepcion
C
Sangra de Christo, San Francisco, San Jose, Trinidad, San Pedro
F
San Pablo, San Tomas, San Mateo, y San Juan Batista,
C G C
And the two modern saints Che Guevara and Mother Theresa