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Death Rally Driver's Survival Guide
 
Death Rally: Death in the Fast Lane




Posted September 03, 1998
Updated February 20, 2010



Death Rally, an auto-combat PC game published in 1996 and 1997 by Apogee / 3D Realms, GT Interactive / Atari and Remedy Entertaiment, has many elements that would be very useful when running an auto-combat board game campaign using Car Wars, Road-Kill Rally, Dark Future or other auto-combat board game system.

This document compiles all of the information from the game, the paper manual and the electronic manual that is applicable to auto-combat board gaming action for easy reference. The Guide is meant to be a springboard for duelmasters when creating arena circuits and roleplaying sessions.

This information is posted without permission from Apogee/3D Realms, GT Interactive/Atari and Remedy Entertainment. No infringement of copyrights or trademarks is intended.

Please send questions or concerns about this Web page to Michael P. Owen, the SWAT Webmaster.


February 20, 2010 Update

Remedy Entertainment has released Death Rally for Windows as a free download.

Remedy Entertainment
http://www.remedygames.com/index.html

Remedy Entertainment - Death Rally for Windows
http://www.remedygames.com/games/death_rally.html

Remedy Entertainment - Discussion Forums - Death Rally
http://forum.alanwake.com/forumdisplay.php?f=28

 


The Race Awaits . . .
The Fastest Cars . . .
In The Deadly Competition . . .
Race Versus Time . . .
Or Just To Survive . . .


Welcome to Death Rally. The race is on. In Death Rally, where life is short and hot, fast and deadly. Watch the road, hear the rumble. Start out easy, get the feel of it. But remember: By the rules or fry the rules, play to win. 'Nuff said. Now ride your machine, your motor-war-chariot.

 

You are sitting behind the wheel of a truck full of illegal auto parts on their way to the notorious Death Rally. It's a lousy job, but somebody's gotta do it. A glance at the rear mirror shows only smoke and fire, burning bridges, burning cop cars. A film of red blood covers your cracked windshield. The wipers are out of work. OK, all right, you are the first one to admit that you had to commit a few traffic violations to get here in time, but that's no reason for the cops to get all excited. You are a man who likes to keep his promises. Before you looms the police road block. Several truck loads worth of gun barrels point into your general direction from behind the blockade. Represented deterrents range from infamous piece-making Peacemakers, through sub-machine guns, shotguns, sniper rifles, assault rifles, machine guns, miniguns, grenade launchers and anti-tank rocket launchers, to vehicle mounted, all-purpose, anti-everything, auto-loading, infrared-homing guided missile systems. The cops really mean to get you this time. All they are going to get is trouble. You pump the gas pedal, and your truck roars her challenge to the cops. Under the roar you can hear an echo of crunching bones from the vicinity of your rear wheels.

"Come on, dare me," you think.

"We dare you, punk," blares the megaphone. You grin madly. Time to rock and roll. And that's when it happens. Clouds seem to part, and radiant rays of sunlight shine down on you, glorifying your blood-washed truck. You can hear angels singing. Your radio seems to switch channels by itself.

"You are the chosen one," speaks a quicksilver voice from the radio. "Listen. I am True Tom Rhymer, and I know the road you're traveling. I am the man in the machine, the guru of the cars, the rocket petrol daddy. You show great potential, kid. I tell no lies. Death Rally is your destiny. You could be the one to climb to the top and challenge the Demon-King of the race, the old hellracer himself, The Adversary. Listen to True Tom. Fortune and glory, kid, fortune and glory. Listen close."

And then the moment passes, and everything is back to normal, and you put the hammer down, and your truck roars forward like a hungry T-Rex. You roar right along with it. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Time to go to work.

Suddenly the air is filled with bullets and bombs like raindrops in a heavy-metal rain as all the guns go off in a simultaneous nuke boom. Missiles tear their burning trails in zigzag patterns of hidden meaning. To the left and right skyscraper-giants grumble and fall in slow-motion. Under your wheels the asphalt burns and melts and disappears into clouds of hissing steam. Yeah! You don't even slow down as you bash through the blockade.

You park your truck, mortally wounded in the battle, in a dark alley right next to the Death Rally pits area. She let's out a long groan and a sigh, and is dead still.

Auto-wrecks smoke and burn by the side of the road. The asphalt is wet with skid marks of blood. Tires shriek with ecstasy in tune with machine gun rumble. Death Rally!

You jump out from the truck. You can hear the sirens closing in. A shady character, his face hidden by a high collar and a hat, is pulling a burned corpse of a driver from a spent piece of trash Vagabond racing car.

"Hey, you the dealer?" you shout. His eyes flash in the shadows.

"Indeed," he answers with a voice as sinister as is his appearance.

"Oh yeah? Well, I've got a delivery for you." The sirens are getting louder. The cops are really out to get you.

"Indeed, and I am grateful." You can imagine the grin on the dealer's hidden face.

"Well, look, fair is fair, I brought you your goods, now you gotta help me out, those cops are gonna be here any second now." You can already see the lights of the cop cars flashing from behind the corner.

The dealer motions towards the smoking corpse at his feet.

"It seems that Death Rally is short of one driver, and you must be good since you made it this far. This Vagabond here is not as bad as she looks. A new paint job, maybe some tuning, and she'll be as good as new."

You nod. Fortune and glory? No kidding. The easiest decision you ever made. You jump into the Vagabond, and floor the gas pedal. All that the cops are gonna find is skid marks and a cloud of smoke.

Towards a Death Rally destiny filled with glory and gore -- you are on your way!
 


Starting a New Game
 

You can choose from three different difficulty levels.

Speed Makes Me Dizzy: The easiest mode.
I Live to Ride: The default setting. Normal difficulty.
I Got Petrol in My Veins: For experienced players.

When the race starts, all the weapons are disabled for two seconds. This will give you a chance to get your car out of harm's way. After the two-second delay, you can start shooting. Of all the cars available in the game, the first three cars are equipped with a single machine gun, and the last three cars are armed with double guns.
 


The Shop
 

Welcome to The Shop. Zillions more miles to go. That junk of yours is no juggernaut. She won't take you all the way. You need to gear up, to upgrade, make headlong headways, strive to strive, evolve, improve, better, best. Buy and be one shining perfection.
 
 

Car
Cost
Top Speed
Repair Per 10% Damage
Vagabond
$500
55 mph
$62
Dervish
$2,50
65 mph
$62
Sentinel
$6,500
80 mph
$187
Shrieker
$11,500
90 mph
$287
Wraith
$25.000
115 mph
$412
Deliverator
$45,000
140 mph
$812

 
The Shop
Armor
Steel Triumph Plating
Ferro-Chromium Armor
Titanium 
Plating
Accesteel 
Armor
Vagabond
$200
--
--
--
Dervish
$200
$600
--
--
Sentinel
$1,000
$1,200
--
--
Shrieker
$2,025
$3,925
$5,950
--
Wraith
$3,200
$4,550
$6,950
--
Deliverator
$5,525
$7,250
$12,525
$15,505

 
The Shop
Engine
4-Cylinder 
Motor
Enhanced
4-Cylinder Motor
V-6 Injection
V-8 Turbo 
Injection
Vagabond
$1,000
--
--
--
Dervish
$1,250
$2,500
--
--
Sentinel
$2,500
$3,750
--
--
Shrieker
$2,500
$3,750
$5,000
--
Wraith
$5,000
$7,500
$10,000
--
Deliverator
$7,550
$11,750
$15,800
$22,450

 
The Shop
Tires
TrackMaster 155
RoadRunner
NS 175
SlideStop 200
Racer-X230
Vagabond
$500
$1,000
--
--
Dervish
$1,000
$2,000
--
--
Sentinel
$2,500
$3,000
$4,000
--
Shrieker
$2,500
$3,000
$4,000
--
Wraith
$4,000
$5,500
$6,000
$7,500
Deliverator
$6,000
$8,500
$9,750
$12,500



The Shop: Vehicle Showroom

Car Spectrum

New Car: When buying a new car, you get a 25% refund of the value of your current car plus upgrades.
 

Vagabond: $500

Face it, not the hottest around, but she'll get you there -- on her own sweet time, is all.
Speed can be boosted to 60 mph. A single revolver. Only 2 tire and 1 armor upgrades.

This is the car you start out with. Slow but reliable and not much weapon power.
 

Dervish: $2,500

Cybernetic road warrior. Your car is your body. This here is not just any body. It is some body.
Can dance. Speed can be boosted to 75 mph. Small guns. Only 2 tire and armor upgrades.

More upgrades. Functionable weapons.
 

Sentinel: $6,500

This is just what you need to rise in the octane octave of this gas-pedal gospel.
Vigilant. Speed can be boosted to 90 mph. Medium guns. Just 3 tire and 2 armor upgrades.

The best car in shareware. Equipped with a single machine gun.
 

Shrieker: $11,500

A racing-car body that matches your hardened petrohead soul in this exponentially accelerating equation.
Roaring. Speed can be boosted to 110 mph. Heavy-duty guns. Up to 3 tire and armor upgrades.

Now you're in business! Equipped with 2 machine guns. And lots more upgrading possibilities.
 

Wraith: $25,000

This, sweet driver, is the cherubim of cars. Only the archangel-automobile Deliverator shines above.
Supernatural. Speed can be boosted to 130 mph. Serious arsenal. Every tire fits. 3 armor upgrades.

Fast, powerful and 2 badass machine guns.
 

Deliverator: $45,000

Prince of the race! This is the best there is, the dream machine, the gold-honey chariot.
Supreme. Speed can be boosted to 160 mph. Armageddon's armaments. Every tire and all armors fit.

Armageddon's Armament. Fastest car on the lot. Everything upgradable.
 


The Shop: Engines
 

No more engine upgrades. You've got the most beastly motor monster this vehicle can carry. Hear its powerful and sublime sound.

Upgrade Engine: The more upgrades you have, the faster your car goes.
 

4-Cylinder Motor

Top Speed + 5 mph
Sick of hearing your old spirit-burner moan in constant over-rev? This motor is the sweet solution.
This engine genie will let you win. It will grant your boy racer wishes.
 

Enhanced 4-Cylinder Motor

Top Speed + 10 mph
Feeding the beast with speed. Got an unbearable need for speed? This is the remedy.
Now any bitter rejects are in the past, just blurred, sweet streetlights speeding past fast!
 

V-6 Injection

Top Speed + 15 mph
With this babe installed, be your destination Hell or Hallelujah, you'll get there so fast, so fast.
If speeding is the 8th Deadly Sin, with this babe under your hood, you are now past redemption.
 

V-8 Turbo Injection

Top Speed + 20 mph
Definition of Nirvana: Riding that race with V-8 TI. Next stop: No stop. Never stop.
Gleaming pistons pumping in chorus with your hungry heart. This sweet symbiosis can cause addiction.
 
 


The Shop: Tires
 

No more tire upgrades. You've got the best fat, sticky tires this vehicle can boast. You are in close touch with the road.

Upgrade Tires: Better tires give you more traction. Tip: New drivers should invest on better tires; they will make handling easier.
 

TrackMaster 155

These wheels will let you do some rapid fire cornering on that shimmering silver street.
Warp 9 Captain. No problems with traction now. The finish line, she's closing fast.
 

RoadRunner NS 175

With these fat tires, you'll shoot from the starting-line like a blood-lusting bullet.
On these wheels your vehicle starts like a nuclear blast, and stops you like a cardiac arrest.
 

SlideStop 200

These fat bottomed tires'll kiss the road like crazy, they just can't get enough. They're hot.
Now fast talk to that asphalt, motor mouth. Time to make some beautiful automotive poetry.
 

Racer-X230

Zorro's Zs were nothing. Carve your whole signature, to the rainbow-oiled road, doing 160.
Smart move, motor man. Now get out there, and do some dashing, dare-devilish damage.
 


The Shop: Armor
 

No more armor upgrades. You got the best shining knight's armor this warhorse power chariot can carry to any road battle.

Armor: The better the armor, the safer your car.
 

Steel Triumph Plating

Steel Triumph won't stop the hurt, but it might just keep you in one piece to the finish line.
Straight from the best R&D labs, shielding Steel Triumph gives you that extra edge you crave.
 

Ferro-Chromium Armor

What the rival guns give, this armor can take, but you'd better shoot back, there's a limit.
Deflects bullets, and most other bad stuff that goes bang in the night, too.
 

Titanium Plating

See this big gun, see this armor. Bang! Now see this armor. Smile to your reflection. Looking good.
Shiny hard stuff. No explosive can shadow its tanning radiance. Don't forget your shades!
 

Accesteel Armor

All but the most extreme shots bounce off like hail on hard concrete.
Not even a shell-shock serious bazooka can faze the cool mirror beauty of Accesteel.
 


The Shop: Repair
 

0% Damage -- Perfect is perfect. What isn't broken, can't be fixed. Come back after you taken in some.

1-9% -- Got your waxcoat scratched? Want to be your shining best? Hey, whatever lights up your dashboard.

10-19% -- Nothing a fresh paint job can't fix. You'll be back on the track in a pit stop minute.

20-29% -- Take five, driver. A straight and simple sledgehammer job here. These percussions, gotta love 'em.

30-39% -- This is no time to rest in pieces. The race awaits! She'll be back on her wheels in no time.

40-49% -- Your conveyance's methylated spirit receptacle has developed a chronic hernia, or something . . .

50-59% -- As Mr. Nukem sometimes puts it, "Uh-oh, that's gotta hurt." This calls for a screwdriver and asprin.

60-69% -- So, your car's sorry ass got blown clean off. Acme glue will fix your mishap-ridden day at the races.

70-79% -- Who helped tow this piece of junk over the finish line? No sweat, this can be fixed.

80-89% -- Don't tell me. You parked your car in a nuclear test zone. These holes need some gum. Start chewing.

90-99% -- Sorry, this vehicle is gone for good . . . Just kidding. Medic. Fast! We've got a driver in shock.

100% -- This used to be a car, huh? Carry the rest of it in here and we'll see what can be done.
 


The Underground Market
 

Psst . . . Yeah, you Driver. Jealousy burns you like a dragon inside. You want that road all to yourself? So jinx those rival suckers, let them go out in a blaze; you take the glory. Welcome to The Underground Market. What you want, we got. Dig out the dough. This gonna cost you.

Out of stock. Sorry, no can do. That's out of stock. Hold your horse(power)s till after the next race.
 

Loan Shark

Loan Shark

The Loan Shark will lend you money for three races at a time (after which he will reclaim it with interest). If you take out a loan, you can pay it back any time by selecting this option again. The Loan Shark won't invest on wild cards, so you have to be an established driver (own at least a Dervish) to get a loan.

With better gear you'd already be on the top, eh? So, how does a short-term loan of $X sound?

Loan denied, Vagabond driver. This is a business, not a charity. We don't invest in unproven wild cards. So buzz off, bug.

You have three races to pay me back the $X. Fair is fair. <Grin>.

Pay back $X + $Y. Petrol brain, you owe me. You'd better be here to pay me back, or else we have nothing to discuss.

It's payback time driver. This is what I like to see, a guy who keeps his part of the bargain. Ah, the sweet smell of money. Come to papa, my babies. Real nice doing business with you, Thunder Boy. Thanks, and good racing riddance.

It's payback time, driver. Tut-tut, hotshot, I can't see my money anywhere. I am not amused, joker. A deal's a deal. I got a reputation to look after. Too bad. Nothing personal, but I got to hurt you some now. Hurt 'im boyz.
 

Mines

Selecting this option will buy 8 mines. These last only for one race, so use 'em all.

Sow these seeds of destruction after a blind bend where headlight eyes are tire-smoke blind.
Now those rival wheels will reap only burning engine death, and that road will be all yours.
 

Spiked Bumpers

Buy spiked bumpers to do extra damage to your opponents in collsions. They last for one race only.

Nothing wakes you up like an enemy car, closing in to give you a sharp kiss with spiked bumpers.
Now you are saying "Stay back or you won't be sorry; you'll be dead." Now, that's the attitude.
 

Rocket Fuel

Rocket fuel makes your car go much faster. Be careful, though. It's so powerful it causes damage to your car whenever you're using Turbo.

This nectar in the veins of your vehicle takes you right into orbit. Real speedy like.
Warning! We're talking 'bout a backdraft barbeque party here. Using the fuel causes damage!
 

Sabotage

Hire a thug to sabotage your opponent's car. The toughest opponent in the next race will start with a damaged car.

Do you have bad luck always riding shotgun? Time for that golden racer boy to get some, right?
Sweet deal. Now your arch-racing rival will tailslide down that vile road to wreckhood oblivion.
No sabotage. No way. What? You crazy, man? Nobody touches The Adversary's automobile and lives. Nobody.
 
 

Underground Market Options
Mines
Spiked Bumpers
Rocket Fuel
Sabotage
Vagabond
$150
$200
$275
$250
Dervish
$200
$225
$350
$325
Sentinel
$450
$500
$675
$550
Shrieker
$500
$550
$625
$570
Wraith
$1,250
$1,750
$2,250
$2,125
Deliverator
$2,525
$2,750
$3,275
$2,625

 
Undeground Market
Loan Shark
Principal
Interest Per Race
Total Repayment
Vagabond
--
--
--
Dervish
$1,500
$250
$2,250
Sentinel
$3,000
$500
$4,500
Shrieker
$6,000
$1,000
$9,000
Wraith
$9,000
$1,500
$13,500
Deliverator
$12,000
$2,000
$18,000



Sponsors
 

"Hey man, I'll make you an offer you can't refuse."
 

Gambler

Sponsor: Gambler

Damage on Vehicle at End of Race Between 0% and 3%

Inconceivable Driver! It was a snowball's chance in hell, through that blitzkrieg battle, and not a shadow of a scratch on your paint job. My bet was on you, and it paid me back big time. Your share, $X. Go knock yourself out.
 


Grim Reaper

Sponsor: Grim Reaper

All Opponents Killed
I am one grateful Reaper Driver. More car corpses for my domain. You are my sweetest minion. Your dead serious dedication has earned you a parking space among my Horsemen. A bonus of $X to you, my horse-powered serial-auto-killer.
 


Hitman

Sponsor: Gambler

Wanna be my hitman, Driver? Wanna get rich, tough guy? OK. Here's the deal. I have put some major funds on this race, betting that Driver A won't reach the finish line. Make me right, and it'll pay you $X.

Target Killed
You totally slew that car. A killer race! The bullets took the sky like clouds of locusts, and the screams of motors were a banshee wail. Death! You were beautiful. Driver A is in a car-coffin grave. $X, your money.

Target Escaped
Your hit missed! You sissy Sunday Driver. The simplest job, and you screw it up! I bet you are afraid of the dark as well. I'll show you what happens when you break your promises to me. I'm gonna make you pay!
 


Manager

Sponsor: Manager

Fourth-Place or Car Destroyed
Too slow, no dough! Death Rally is for winners. You totally lost this race. All the bonus $$ you collected on the way are null and void. You get nothing, get it? Zero, none, naught, nix, nada, zilch. Next time, be better. No money or points awarded.

Three First-Place Finishes in a Row
Not too shabby driver. Your wild winning streak has earned you an extra X bucks. But don't get cocky. Those other wannabe victory hounds are going to zero right into your blazing headlights, and they want to get you bad.

Car Lapped by Opponents
You were lapped loser! The pain, the humiliation! Your stunt made me the laughing stock of the races. What were you trying to do, mimic slow-motion? No one is going to take me seriously after this. No money or points awarded.
 


Steroid Dealer

Sponsor: Steroid Dealer

A slick steroid run anyone? Extra $, anyone? You? This is easy as shifting gears 1-2-3. Just pick up some pills along the way, and get them to the finish line before things get crowded. Be first, like, floor it like.

First-Place Finish and Steroids Delivered
What motorized steroid peddling! Wow, my main man. I didn't know there was that much smoke in the whole burning hell, and through it all, bearing gifts like some blessed beast, you came, and this here is prime stuff! $X to you!

Second or Lower-Place Finish, Car Destroyed, or Steroids Not Delivered
Where's my steroids? The whole deal went sour because of your incompetance. A few slick turns of the wheel, but no, nope! I'm not happy, and when I'm not happy, I am mad, and when I am mad bad things happen -- to you!
 
 

Sponsor
Gambler
Grim Reaper
Hitman
Manager
Dealer
Vagabond
$350
$600
$600
$600
$1,000
Dervish
$750
$1,000
$1,000
$1,000
$2,000
Sentinel
$1,500
$2,000
$2,000
$2,000
$3,000
Shrieker
$3,000
$3,000
$3,000
$3,000
$6,000
Wraith
$4,500
$4,000
$4,000
$4,000
$8,000
Deliverator
$6,000
$5,000
$5,000
$5,000
$12,000



Deathtracks
 

The Arena: The Final Challenge Awaits
Bogota
Borneo
Complex
Desert Run
Downtown
Eidolon
Hell Mountain
Holocaust
Newark
Oasis
Palm Side
Rock Zone
Snake Alley
Suburbia
Toxic Dump
Utopia
Velodrome
West End
 
 



Easy Race
4 Laps
Medium Race
5 Laps
Hard Race
6 Laps

Money Points Money Points Money Points
1st Place $750 3 $3,000 5 $12,000 8
2nd Place $375 2 $1,500 3 $6,000 7
3rd Place $188 1 $375 1 $1,500 4


Medium Race

Hold on to your reins, you mad motorized berserker! They would mow you dead out there. Sign up here only when you have a Sentinel or something even wilder under your tail.
 

Hard Race

Hold on to your reins, you mad motorized berserker! They would mow you dead out there. Sign up here only when you have a Wraith or something even wilder under your tail.
 

Final Race: Duel with The Adversary in The Arena

You have made it through the road-hell Purgatory. Now you must face the Demon-King of the Race, The Adversary. Winner takes it all.

Laps: 9
First Place: Glory
Second Place: Return to the Death Rally Circuit
 

You are victorious. The Adversary lies dead in the burning remains of his Deliverator. At last, his evil reign is over.
 


Death Racers

 
Starting 
Rating
Name
Starting 
Points
Vehicle
Demon-King
The Adversary
--
Deliverator
1.
Sam Speed
100
Deliverator
2.
Jane Honda
86
Deliverator
3.
Duke Nukem
77
Deliverator
4.
Nasty Nick and Deliverator
Nasty Nick and Wraith
69
Deliverator or Wraith
5.
Motor Mary
63
Wraith
6.
Mad Mac
57
Wraith
7.
Matt Miller
51
Wraith
8.
Clint West
46
Wraith
9.
Lee Vice
42
Shrieker
10.
Dark Ryder
37
Shrieker
11.
Greg Peck
33
Shrieker
12.
Suzy Stock
28
Sentinel
13.
Iron John
25
Sentinel
14.
Mori Sato
20
Sentinel
15.
Cher Stone
17
Sentinel
16.
Diesel Joe
13
Dervish
17.
Mic Dair
9
Dervish
18.
Liz Arden
5
Dervish
19.
Bogus Bill
2
Vagabond
20.
Farmer Ted
1
Vagabond



Cheat Codes and Secrets
 

Type the following codes while in The Shop.

DROOL -- Account set to $500,000
DRAW -- Gain $1,000
DRIVE -- Gain 10 points
DROP -- Lose 10 points
 

Type the following codes while you are driving.

DRAG -- Unlimited Turbo
DREAD -- Unlimited Machine Gun Ammunition
DRINK -- Unlimited Rocket Fuel
DRUB -- God Mode. Car impervious to damage from collisions, Machine Guns, Mines, Spikes or Rocket Fuel.
DRUG -- Mushroom Effect
 

Entering your name and driver picture as Duke Nukem on the Death Rally Driver's License will give you the Duke Nukem's armor level, the best in the game. Duke Nukem will say, "Let's rock" when you make your difficulty level selection.

When Duke Nukem is selected on the Death Rally Driver's License and the player's car crashes and burns (reaches 100% damage), Duke Nukem will say, "This sucks."

When Duke Nukem crosses the finish line in first place, Duke will say, "Hail to the King, baby."
 


Tips for Winning at Death Rally
 

If you want to beat this game fast, make sure to:

* Pay loans back as soon as you can. The Loan Shark adds interest to the loan after each race.

* Get all the extra bonuses available. If possible, try to kill everybody without taking any damage yourself to get two bonuses in the same race. (Keep in mind that you get a bonus for 3 wins in a row.)

* Keep driving. Even if there's only one opponent left, don't close in for the kill immediately: keep driving around the track to get as many wrenches and/or bonus money from the track as possible.

* Collect everything. The amount of "gettable" objects is always constant. If you pick up an ammo box, it means that another object "pops out" somewhere. So, even if you don't need the turbo or ammo, it's worthwhile to pick the things up, as it means that a new object appears. As your car gets better, those small dollars start to award bigger sums.
 


True Tom Rhymer's Tales
 

Perk up. This is a free newsflash. I am True Tom Rhymer, and I know the road. I got petrol in my veins, I got wind in my engine-oiled hair. I've been where you are now, hotshot, Thunder Boy, young blood. I've been farther down the road than you'll ever get.

Body and soul; yin and yang. You, my motorlord apprentice, are the soul in this exponentially accelerating equation. Your vehicle is the body. Can you feel the precious equilibrium slipping and tailsliding from your control? Don't lose it now, stay tuned: race time!

Listen. This is True Tom talking. I speak through the mystic ring-shapes of your wheels. A genie in the bottle. I sing to you from that beer bottle, half drank, on the side of the road. Smell my sweat in the reek and excitement of petrol pumps.

Listen. This is True Tom talking. Hear me groan mantras and mysteries over the roar and rumble of motor monsters. I am the man in the machine, the guru of cars, the rocket petrol daddy. I know that twisted road. Listen close. I tell no lies.

So my baby walked when I bought me a new set of wheels instead of a wedding ring. Any regrets? For a while there, but now all bitter regrets are in the past, blurred sweet streetlights speeding past, fast. The rush, the high. Death Rally! Drive it. Love it.

Are you ready for the ride, magical and mysterious? A long, long way down the yellow brick road? Through zillions of miles of blitzkreig battle, prolonged and blazing? Trailblaze through the multitude of unknown uphill struggles the road sends your way.

This is it. Here. Now. In Death Rally. Where life is short and hot. Fast and deadly. The race is on. Watch the road. Hear the rumble. Wanna play it sweet or play it dirty, by the rules or fry the rules, there's only one way to do it, play to win.

This is how it goes. You are driving. You are saying "Hang on baby, this is what I do." It's doable, all right? Winnable. And the bullets take the sky, like clouds of locusts. The end is nigh. Race over, get it? Budda budda budda. You have been warned.

Zillions more miles to go. That junk of yours is no juggernaut. She won't take you all the way, half the way. You need to gear up, to upgrade, make headlong headways, strive to strive, evolve, improve, better, best. Buy and be one shining perfection.

Ride your machine, your motor-war chariot. Go for that grail, only one can be King of the Race, the fastest man on the track, the number one. And there are plenty of takers. Gas is the only pedal. Floor it. You have been warned.

You wanna know if its safe. Listen to True Tom. This is the score. Things can get out of hand real speedy like. I'm talking 'bout the world lighting up shining white and then nothing. I'm talking 'bout going out in a blaze of glory. You have been warned.

So jealousy burns you like a diesel engine inside, you want that road all to yourself? The black cat of bad luck haunts you? Jinx those rival wheels so they'll reap only burning engine death, and the road it all yours. But beware, the road can be a fickle lover.

Those other wannabe victory hounds are just taillights blazing far away in the far horizon. Gone Daddy gone! Not enough juice, not enough potential power in your engine box. True Tom too, has been there in the same fix you are now, oh yeah. Shoot 'em down.

This is how it goes. Your heart pumps that winning beat. This is race time, real time. And your brakes are gone. Don't miss them, don't care. Gas is the only pedal. Floor it; did long time ago. See the lap of honor. Bullets turned into confetti. Win, win, win!

This is how it goes. All you can see from the rear mirror is rocket fume, and you know there isn't that much burning smoke in the whole burning Hell. And your engine, it screams and moans like a banshee. Death is coming, Death is coming, that's what's it's saying.

Ride that whirlwind. Put some heavy-metal to the pedal, put that hammer down, and aim your nose towards that myth-shrouded final challenge. The Adversary awaits. Here you come now, there's no turning back now. True Tom can see you coming. I tell no lies.

Through the hot rod road-hell Purgatory, where motor souls scream and way-tired wheels burn. To the final challenge. There awaits the Demon-King of the Race. The flame-crowned Demon-King. The Adversary. Fear him. Listen to True Tom. I tell no lies.

Listen. This is True Tom talking. Once, I tried to prove my gas-pedal mettle in a race against The Adversary. I lost. Only once did I hear him speak. It was when he raised his fire-crowned head, and said "Racer Boy, now I'm going to mow you dead."

Listen. This is True Tom talking. Yes, I speak to you now from my car-coffin grave. It was The Adversary who put me here, the Demon-King of The Race. You would do well to fear him. I tell no lies. I know, True Tom does. Listen, and listen close. Fear him.

Ah, fortune and glory! You are special. True Tom tells no lies. Sweet Driver, it's been a long and winding road. But now you have finally arrived. The Adversary's evil reign is over. The Demon-King is dead. Long live the King of Death Rally!