The Dark Nose Dog Detective Agency

A set of stories about a Shepard-mix (police dog) and his side-kick Werner the Wiener Dog. The dogs operate a detective agency and solve crimes and other activities.

The text below is in word ASCII text format and can be read and/or printed by most word processors or file listers.




By Grampa Ross

November 26, 1991
June 24, 1994
Copyright Bruce Ross
Seattle, Washington




The DND stories are based on two actual dogs that lived with Greg and Scott's grandfather and grandmother. However, they were there at different times. Their personalities have been melded into the DND and WVW characters as a pair of bumbling detectives with a generous gift of serendipity.

Email comments to


Grampa Ross stories
as told to Greg and Scott


The Dark Nose Dog, Private Investigator and bad-guy chaser

Episode 1

The DND & WVW Detective Agency

The Dark Nose Dog was once a police dog detective lieutenant until Willy the Weasel framed him. Falsely accused, he was discharged from the Police Force in disgrace. The best he could become under the circumstances is a PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR DETECTIVE. In the meantime, the Weasel was laughing at him.

How did the frame-up occur? Well, Willy the Weasel had stolen a chicken and was heading home to his den with it. Detective Lieutenant Dark Nose Dog had discovered the dastardly deed and was in hot pursuit. The chicken was too big to fit through the door of the Weasel den and had to be left outside. Just as Dark Nose Dog arrived at the den door, a passing police patrol spotted him moving the chicken. Unfortunately, the other police dogs in the patrol car were Dark Nose's rivals and they arrested the Dark Nose Dog. The Weasel was happy to get out of trouble, and eagerly testified that Dark Nose had tried to BRIBE him for some information about an EGG SNATCHING incident a few days earlier. Lies, lies, lies, but they were believed and Detective Lieutenant Dark Nose Dog was dismissed from the Police Force. A bad thing to happen to a police dog.

Dark Nose Dog teamed up with Werner Von Wiener, a dachshund of questionable reputation, but he knew the streets and did have a good nose for trouble. Together they formed the DND&WVW Detective Agency. Now, Werner had a long body and very short legs, good for sniffing out a trail and chasing weasels into their hole-in-the- ground houses, but not very good for traveling with a long legged ex-police dog. So, Dark Nose had some stilts built for Werner to lengthen his legs and allow him to go as fast as a DND. After that, Werner Von Wiener was called "Stilts".

Now, Stilts, as he was called, also had a dislike for weasels and was happy to have a weasel chasing partner. Stilts did not like raccoons, badgers, moles, rats, or porcupines either, but he was smart enough to leave the porkies alone for he knew they were armed with sharp stickers. He had not met a skunk yet and was in for a surprise. But that is another story.

The end.

Episode 2
Willy the Weasel

It was a dark and stormy night and DND and WVW (Stilts to his friends) were having a nice quiet supper of Pizza Pie Soup and melted ice cream, when suddenly the alarm at the Chicken Coop went off. Big Trouble. Was it Willy the Weasel again, or was it one of the other trouble makers around town? The Rat, the Raccoon, the Badger, and Snuffy Smith all had bad reputations for chicken and egg stealing. Or was it Phooey the SKUNK. We hope not! It could be only a false alarm caused by the storm frightening the Chickens. Any way, only one way to find out. Head for the Chicken Coop. "Put on your stilts, Stilts, Lets go! The rain will wash away the scent of the culprit if we wait." Out of the warm Kennel office of DND&WVW Detectives, into the wet night rushed the 8 legged detective team.

Upon arriving at the Chicken Coop, they found pandemonium, chickens everywhere, clucking and squawking. "QUIET !", yelled DND. "Now who can tell us what happened? We want the facts, just the facts Ma'am." The chickens told of a slinky, shadowy form that pushed Henny off her nest and stole an egg. Sure enough, an egg was missing. "Sounds like Willy the Weasel" said Stilts, "and I did get a weasel scent as we came in." "Good enough", said Dark Nose Dog, "Lets see if we can beat him to his house and nab him at the door." "I do not think he is going directly home", said Werner, "I heard that he has a girl friend across town and he may be heading there with an egg as a present to impress her." "OK take off the stilts, put your nose on the ground and follow the trail. I will run ahead a little way and use my height to see over the grass and bushes."

Snort, snuffle, snort, sniff, away the two detectives ran following the scent. Unfortunately, Willy was hiding under the Chicken Coop eating the egg, and the trail the two were following was the route Willy took arriving at the Coop. Willy took the long way back home and avoided the dogs, who got wet and cold for their trouble, and the pizza soup got cold too.

Well, you cannot win all the time. Too bad.

Cold Pizza Soup, yuck.

The End.

Episode 3
Halloween Hi-Jinks

It was late one Halloween night, long after the last tricker treater. Dark Nose Dog and Stilts were eating a late supper of spaghetti soup and candy bars they "rescued" from some naughty tricksters who were up to some mischief earlier that night. "Well, not a bad Halloween after all. No big trouble at the Chicken Coop nor over at the garbage dump", said DND. Stilts, that is, Werner Von Wiener the dachshund, was not listening, he was pigging out on candy. Dachshunds are like that.

Suddenly there was a noise. WHOOOO, who-who-who, Whooo. "Whazzat? Whazzat? Did you hear that?" Was it only Stilts stomach complaining about too much candy? No, listen again! Whooo, Whoooooo. Trembling, but barking with much bravado, DND and WVW stepped out into the night. There in front of them were two round EYES, no one round EYE, no, Three, no Four round eyes. One, three, two, four, two, one, none, EEEK how scary. Now Stilts, who has more bravery than sense, rushed the eyes, and with a whirring and flapping sound they disappeared. Worse yet, there was no scent to follow. (I will tell you the secret, they were OWLS, and they flew away, but our detectives did not know that). "Must be ghosts", said Dark Nose Dog. "Has to be ghosts" said Werner the Stilt Von Wiener, "I think they were friendly, lets take a walk and see if we can find them." "Ok, you lead", replied DND.

The doubtful duo went down the path toward the street where it was better by the street lights. You see, they really did not want to find any ghosts. Almost there, MORE EYES !! RUN!

Whirring and flapping again, but this time shapes went through the light from the street lights. "ARRGGH, did you see them?"

One of the ghosts, (we know that they are just owls, don't we) decided to take a better look at what was chasing them and returned, flying more slowly than when they flew off. As the owl passed through the light again, this time, Dark Nose Dog recognized that it was just a big friendly owl and began to laugh. The two detective dogs were so relieved at the true identity of the ghosts that they had fun rolling around in the grass, kicking their feet, all 8 of them, in the air.

They found some candy that some tricker treater lost through a hole in his candy sack and ate it. Happy that there was no danger, they went home and finished the spaghetti soup.

I am sorry to report that there was no detective work done the next day because every one was sick from eating too much candy.

The end.

Episode 4
Dead Fish Perfume

The Dark Nose Dog and his sidekick, Stilts, were patrolling the beach looking for weasel or raccoon tracks. Their eyes and noses were carefully scanning the sand when they came upon a DEAD FISH. Now for some silly reason, dogs think that dead fish smell is like perfume. Immediately, the two forgot about Weasel and Raccoon and rolled in the fish. Oh, they thought that they were the best smelling detectives in the world. Proud and happy, they forgot tracking and played on the beach for an hour.

On the way home, they passed the door of Willy the Weasel's house. Weasel also was fond of dead fish, but for another reason. To him, it smelled like DINNER. Weasel figured that some one was carrying a fish home and maybe he could trip the person and make him drop the fish. Then in a flash, because weasels are fast, he could steal it. All he saw were the two dogs, but he figured that they were also following the person carrying the fish, so he ran through the alley and got ahead of the dogs. Of course, he was also ahead of the fish smell because it was not someone carrying a fish, but two stinky dogs who were spreading the bad odor down the street. Puzzled, Weasel sat down to think. Bad idea. Dark Nose Dog, who has keen eyes, saw him and began to chase the weasel. Down the alley, around the house, through the Bedney's fire wood pile, and safely into the woods. DND being faster, was ahead and crashed into the wood pile and scattered all the pieces of fire wood. Of course, Mr. Bedney was angry at him for making a mess. This slowed Dark Nose Dog enough that Werner the Wiener dog, who was not wearing his speed stilts, could catch up. He scolded DND also. He said that DND should have circled the pile to trap the weasel and waited for him because wood piles and the like are his specialty.

In the mean time, the Weasel escaped through the woods and made it safely home. Dark Nose and Stilts retreated to the kennel office of DND&WVW Detective Agency. They were discussing the day and how good they smelled, when they were discovered by the Boss, who did not share their admiration for the smell of dead fish. She gave each of them TWO soapy baths and a vinegar rinse.

Well, So much for smelling good.

Some time later the detectives met up with Phooey the Skunk. PEEEE- YUU That is real perfume to a skunk. I will tell you about that sometime.

The end

Episode 5
Squirrels, Why Good Dogs Go Bad

I was a warm, sunny morning in September. Dark Nose Dog and Stilts were taking a lazy snooze in the sunbeams, just like a couple of cats. OOPS!, SHHH! don't say cats around them, especially, don't compare them to cats.

The telephone rang, RING - RING. "Hello". It was Mrs Miller calling to have the detective dogs come over to her house and chase the squirrels out of the walnut tree. She was concerned that all of the nuts would be stolen again this year as before. Dark Nose, who had answered the telephone, was not particularly interested in the job until Mrs. Miller mentioned a chocolate cake that she was baking. That did it! Of course they would come and clear out the thieving squirrels from the walnut tree. Dogs like chocolate cake almost as much as dead fish. Maybe more!

The dogs thought that all they would have to do would be to grab the squirrels as they ran from the tree to their houses. They did not know much about squirrels, but knew that all the other bad-guy animals walked on the ground. To their surprise, they found that squirrels traveled in the tree branches, jumping from tree to tree and seldom coming down to the ground. Worse yet, these squirrels ran along the telephone and television cables that passed through the trees as they went between peoples' houses. It was a lot easier and safer to run along the cables than to jump from tree branch to tree branch. The squirrels called the cables their skyway highways. I think that is a good name for them.

All Dark Nose and Stilts could do is watch and bark. They could not stop the raid. After a while, the squirrels tired of all running back and forth between the tree and their nests, and decided to tease the dogs. Squirrels are good at that.

First one squirrel would come down a tree in front of Stilts the Dachshund and give a sassy chirp. Stilts could not resist, and rushed the tree. Of course, the squirrel was expecting just that and quick as can be, ran around the tree trunk and up just out of reach. Then another squirrel would treat poor Dark Nose Dog the same way. This nonsense went on for half an hour until Mrs Miller got tired of hearing the barking and commotion, came out of her house and saw what was happening. The dogs and squirrels were making a big nuisance of themselves and had trampled down a lot of her flowers.

Mrs Miller sent the Dog Detectives home without giving them any chocolate cake. The dogs were so frustrated and angry that on the way home, they tipped over two garbage cans and chased three cats up trees.

Feeling better, they found new sunbeams to snooze in.

The end.

Episode 6

It was a nice warm summer afternoon and the Dark Nose Dog and Stilts, the Wiener Dog, were walking along the beach enjoying the smell of grass and trees. While they walked, they watched a small boy playing on a log that as partly out into the water. All of a sudden, the boy fell into the water which was quite deep at that place.

The Dogs instantly recognized the danger and ran to the rescue. The Dark Nose Dog is much larger than the Wiener Dog, so he went into the water and grabbed the boy by the collar and pulled him to the shore. In the mean time, Stilts ran off to find a person to help. He found the family of the boy having a picnic, and told them about how the boy had fallen into the water. The boy's family hurried to the shore to get the boy and take him home and put on dry clothes.

As the people left the picnic area, the dogs were sure that they heard the people say "YOU ARE HEROES AND CAN HAVE THE PICNICS FOOD AS a REWARD". Maybe they didn't say that, but that is what the dogs wished they said. Any way, the dogs did eat the picnic food. They ate three tuna fish sandwiches, two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, a bowl of potato salad, and bag of chocolate chip cookies.

Feeling smug and happy with themselves, the dogs found a patch of nice grass in the sun to roll in and take a nap. Before falling asleep, they laid on their backs with their feet in the air and wiggled their toes.

In a little while, some reporters from the newspaper came to the picnic area to talk to the heroes. The next day the paper had a big picture on the front page of two (you know who) dogs with the words in big letters HEROES SAVE BOY FROM THE RIVER right above the picture.

For a long time after that, every where the heroes went, people would say Good Dogs, and Brave Dogs, and nice things like that. Many people would pat their heads and scratch their ears. Some people would even share a tuna fish sandwich with the two great heroes.

The End

Episode 7
The Dark Nose Boy

This story is about the Dog Detectives when they were very old and had retired from chasing weasels, raccoons, and squirrels. But, they never stopped chasing cats for fun. The Dark Nose Dog and Werner Von Wiener were laying in the sun talking about old times when a friend came for a visit and told them that a new family had moved in across town and the boy in the family had set up a new detective agency with his dog Snoops. The boy calls himself the Dark Nose Boy.

This was too much, Dark Nose and Werner, that is, Stilts, were curious and just had to investigate. They visited the Dark Nose Boy and he told them that years earlier when he was little, he was rescued from the river by two dog heroes, and he had a newspaper article and picture about it. His family had moved away from town and recently moved back. The boy decided to open his detective agency in honor of the old DND&WVW detectives who had saved him as a little fellow. The boy was surprised and very pleased to meet the original Dark Nose Dog and his partner Stilts. He gave them lots of hugs and some chocolate cookies to eat.

After that, if the weather was not too cold or wet, the Dark Nose Boy and the Dark Nose Dog and their friends worked together solving mysteries.

The end

Episode 8
Cuddles and Luther

Cuddles and Luther were Dark Nose Dog's cousins who lived across town with the Boss' older son. Luther is a big black Labrador who likes to go swimming in the river. Cuddles was a small brown and white Australian girl sheep dog with one BROWN and one BLUE eye. Australian sheep dogs often have one brown and one blue eye. Some say that it is because in Australia, the sun shines up side down. Sheep dogs of all types have one bad habit. They are bossy. They are always trying to herd something, other dogs, chickens, children, any group of animals. They are also very smart and hardly ever get lost. Well, hardly ever get lost. This story is about Cuddles and Luther getting lost for a little while in the forest.

Cuddles, Luther, and the boy who takes care of them went camping in the forest. They decided to walk along a trail and look at the big trees and other things that grown in the forest. The boy knew that the trail was a big circle and would eventually return to the campsite, but the dogs did not know that. Soon, the dogs became bored and tired and decided to take a short-cut through the woods back to camp. Actually, it was Cuddles who decided it, and convinced Luther to go with her. What she did not know is that it is much harder to walk in the forests than on the trails. That is why the animals of the forest make and use regular trails instead of wandering around in the brush and grass. Besides, all landmarks and other familiar things are different in the forest than in the city where they live.

The boy got back to the camp and Cuddles and Luther were no where in sight. Fortunately, Cuddles has a very good sense of direction and was traveling just about in the right direction. The boy called "CUDDLES, LUTHER" again and again. The dogs did hear him and followed the sound back to camp. Just as it was getting dark the boy heard crashing and bumping sounds in the woods. He worried that it might be a bear, but it was just big old Luther with Cuddles right behind him. Everyone was tired and happy to be together at camp. They ate dinner of stew, vegetables, chocolate milk, and cookies. Then they sang campfire songs, and went to bed all snug in their sleeping bags.

They slept so hard that they did not even hear the forest mouse looking for cookie crumbs for his own dinner.

The End.

Episode 9
Riot at the Toy Store

It was a nice sunny day and the Dark Nose Dog and his sidekick Werner Von Wiener Dog were loafing around the DND & WVW Detective Agency Office as usual. Only it was not quit as usual because Werner played a trick on the DND and could not stop snickering. Lunch of spaghetti soup had been served and when the DND was not looking, Werner put some HOT SAUCE into his bowl and the DND does not like hot pepper. Werner snickered and giggled so hard that he snuffled some of his soup into his nose, which we all know makes an owie in the nose. DND had the last laugh at the time, but Werner the wiener dog forgot his problem and snickered every time he thought of the DND eating hot sauce.

The phone rang. It was the Toy Store. There was a problem. a herd of animals had invaded the store and was playing with all the toys.

Quick as a flash, the dog detectives were on their way to the Toy Store. Chasing cats and other animals is their favorite job.

They arrived at the store and peeked into it from the cover of some bushes. Yep! The store was full of strange animals. These animals had elephant, pig, cat, fish, and dinosaur noses, but not the right bodies. They walked on two legs and had hands. What were these strange creatures? Creeping closer, then finally rushing into the store, the great detectives had a good look and caught the scent of some. What were they? Were they dangerous? Were they going to eat the toys? Were they going to eat the Store People? What were these strange mixed up animals????

DND and WVW were surprised to find out that they were their favorite animals -- wearing FALSE NOSES. CHILDREN WITH NOSE MASKS!!

The dogs were disappointed that there were no strange things to chase, but were glad to play games with the children, which is their second best favorite thing to do. The first best thing, of course, is EATING. Or is it LOAFING and SLEEPING?

The End

--- ---


   1          WHOLE EGG
    CUP    WATER

   6.  BAKE 30 MINUTES AT 325 F.



                   --- end ---

From :
Return Mail Address :
Summary :

COMMENTS on the DND stories.

I can always be reached directly at
This page last modified June 29, 1997

March 11, 2000, set to html format You are my visitor. . . Many Thanks.

------------- end --------------