Samples:

And here we thought "fragging" had gone out of style

NOVEMBER 5: "Independent", i.e., not Republican, talk radio host Mike Reagan's guest is Colonel David Hackworth (retired), who claims that "morale in the [United States] armed services is the lowest it's been in 52 years".

 

Apparently Hackworth wasn't paying attention during the Vietnam war when, Colonel Heinl, Jr, writing in 1971 in the Armed Forces Journal, wrote: "The morale, discipline, and battleworthiness of the U.S. Armed Forces are, with a few salient exceptions, lower and worse than at any time in this century and possibly in the history of the United States.  By every conceivable indicator, our army that now remains in Vietnam is in a state approaching collapse, with individual units avoiding or having refused combat, murdering their officers and noncommissioned officers, drug-ridden, and dispirited where not near mutinous."

 

Hackworth also leads an organization called Soldiers For The Truth, which has the stated goal of reinstating the draft for young American men.

 

Reagan's show is sponsored by Howard Johnsons

 

Short-term memory loss theater

NOVEMBER 7: Limbaugh tells his audience today that "[President] Clinton didn't campaign for any member of Congress" in the latest election. However, just a few days before, he had blamed President Clinton for the Democrat's loss of a congressional seat in New York's 13th Congressional District in that same election. How did Limbaugh say President Clinton caused this loss? By campaigning for the Democratic candidate.  Limbaugh even displayed his excellent memory of the event by ridiculing specific comments Clinton made in the campaign speech supporting the candidate. How to explain this puzzling self-contradiction?  Either his memory is deteriorating at a rapid rate, or he just doesn't care about the truth.

 

Limbaugh's show is sponsored by Bose Wave Radio.

 

He's a girl-watcher

NOVEMBER 9: Official KVI Radio Rabbi Dan Lapin has just returned from giving a speech at the University of Oregon.  He was apparently shaken by the experience, saying that "University towns, specifically [The University of Oregon at] Eugene, Oregon, are depressing and dull", and "the more left-wing the university, the uglier the women on campus".  (According to this editorial from the student newspaper at the University of Oregon, the students weren't too impressed by Lapin, either.)  However, Lapin reserves his most misogynistic comment for Harvard University, of which he says: "Harvard is filled with the least attractive women I have ever had the misfortune to view".

 

Lapin contrasts these eyesores with religious universities, specifically, Brigham Young University, Regent (Pat Robertson) University, and Lee College, which have "more attractive people which makes it a more upbeat atmosphere."

 

Some readers may be curious about Lapin's own appearance, given his chauvinistic practice of judging women by their looks.  "Bald-headed old coot" would probably be most people's first impression of the lecher.

 

We noticed

NOVEMBER 12: Limbaugh welcomes rumors of infighting in the Democratic Party, saying that it's "good news in terms of defeating the Democratic Party, which is the objective I have all the time."

 

Limbaugh's show is sponsored by Red Lobster restaurants.

 

He's (still) a girl-watcher

NOVEMBER 16: Official KVI Radio Rabbi Dan Lapin, still nursing a grudge against the ungrateful (and in his opinion, ugly) students at the University of Oregon,  returns to last week's theme, saying "Liberals are uglier than conservatives".  Concerned that his listeners may think he's just being facetious, he says  "I'm being very serious this evening".  Concerned that his listeners may think that he's discussing beauty in an abstract or moral sense, he brings them right back down to earth: "I'm talking about pretty girls".

 

Then he gets personal.  Referring to a Yale University yearbook picture of Hillary Rodham Clinton, Lapin says it "bears out my point entirely" about the "obvious indifference these women have to their appearance".  He even has a comment about "feminists" that have the temerity to stand by Hillary while she stands by her man.  Lapin says the rallying cry of these "feminists" is "Let's all us ugly girls band together and support Hillary."

 

Those Chinese all look alike to him

NOVEMBER 17: Republican talk radio host Kirby Wilbur contrasts the old Soviet Union and today's Communist China, saying "the Chinese are a homogenous people" whereas "Russians were barely a majority" in the Soviet Union.  With this comment, Wilbur is displaying his ignorance of the incredible range of peoples and cultures included in the label "Chinese".

 

Wilbur's show is sponsored by the Mr. Coffee iced tea maker.

 

News Flash! Garden of Eden located in Yellowstone Park!

NOVEMBER 17: "Independent" talk radio host Mike Reagan, complaining about a proposal to establish a wildlands corridor from the Yukon to Yellowstone National Park, says that "these people's agenda" is to "take this country back to the way it was before Adam and Eve got here."

 

Reagan's show is sponsored by ReMaxx real estate.

 

Remedial button pushing recommended

NOVEMBER 20: An advertisement claims that "Hot Talk" radio station KVI is "pushing all the politically correct buttons - the wrong way".  Apparently these right-wingers know more than one way to push a button.

 

Limbaugh gives up his title

NOVEMBER 21: Limbaugh calls President Clinton the "Hate-monger in Chief" for sponsoring a race relations seminar.

 

Limbaugh's show is sponsored by the "NYPD Blue" TV show.

 

Reverend Moon's Mouthpiece

NOVEMBER 21: Limbaugh, after gleefully featuring the Arlington National Cemetery "scandal"  (the latest Clinton scandal manufactured by Reverend Moon's Insight Magazine) on his show for days, tries to deny his own role in pumping up the story after it becomes obvious that the alleged scandalous events never happened.  Limbaugh now claims that "I cautioned people to not jump to conclusions, to be careful, because there were anonymous people making charges" that Arlington National Cemetery plots were being auctioned off for campaign contributions.

 

Limbaugh himself had wasted no time being cautious, even playing a parody song about the "scandal" that must have been written and recorded practically overnight after the allegations were first made.

 

Limbaugh's show is sponsored by Breath-Rite nasal strips - Limbaugh says "I use 'em, I love 'em".

 

Present company (not) excepted

NOVEMBER 24: "Independent", i.e., not Republican, talk radio host Mike Reagan is disappointed with his fellow citizens, saying  "Americans are nuts with sex and greed"

 

Reagan's show is sponsored by SuperJuice caplets.

 

And he's just the man to play a mindless game

NOVEMBER 25: Limbaugh says that "it's a mindless game to play what-if", although that has never stopped him from doing it whenever it suited his purposes.

 

Limbaugh's show is sponsored by DirectTV sports channels.

 

On today's Clinton Conspiracy Hour

DECEMBER 4:  "Independent" talk radio host Mike Reagan's guest is Larry Klayman of Judicial Watch and they're talking about Chris Ruddy's latest made-up Clinton conspiracy.  In October, Ken Starr, no Clinton-lover, definitively concluded that Vince Foster had committed suicide, putting the kibosh on Ruddy's Clinton-did-it conspiracy theory for all but the most paranoid Clinton-haters.  Ruddy responded by cooking up a new conspiracy, this one focussed on the "unusual facts" regarding the death of Commerce Secretary Ron Brown in a 1996 plane crash.

 

Ruddy's claim, published in Richard Mellon Scaife's {hmm, where have we heard that name before?) Pittsburgh Tribune-Review newspaper, is that Commerce Secretary Ron Brown's body was found in the plane's wreckage with a gunshot wound in the head.  The official Air Force accident report, however, says Brown died of injuries from the crash.

 

So what's the connection between Brown's death and Clinton? Larry Klayman hints that Brown was murdered because he was going to spill his guts to Klayman's group about illegal fund-raising for the Democrats.  In fact, says Klayman, "the only person with something to gain by Ron Brown's death was Clinton."

 
 

Arlingtongate is dead but not buried

DECEMBER 10: Republican talk radio host Kirby Wilbur debuts KVI's self-produced "Bill Clinton's 12 Days of Christmas" parody song which concludes with "12 plots in Arlington [National Cemetery]", thus perpetuating the debunked lie first published by the Reverend Moon's Insight Magazine.

[e-mail us]  [Everything I Know I Learned from Talk Radio]
Copyright 1999 W.R. Ross All Rights Reserved